Suzanne Proksa:
Welcome to another episode of the Suzanne show where I talk a little online business, human resources, personal development, chronic illness, and whatever else I decide to chat about. I am so excited that you are here, and I love to hear from my listeners. Please feel free to reach out to me on my website, suzanneproxa.com, or on my program site, programs.suzanneproxa.com, or on all the socials where I'm also Suzanne Proksa. And don't forget to put that k before the s. Let's move on with the episode. I can't wait for you guys to dive in. Hey, beautiful human. Just a quick note that the episode that you are about to listen to is from my former show, Suzanne Pro Live.
Suzanne Proksa:
But it is so good that I just wanted to make sure that it was still being shared. So enjoy. I am here today to talk about a very hot topic that I'm seeing lately. There's a lot of fear out there, a lot of women lacking confidence in their business, and it's really taking their efforts. And so today, I'm super excited to have Emily here because she's gonna talk to us about how to create some confidence, get past some of the hurdles and the bullshit that we deal with as female entrepreneurs. So we're gonna repeat a little bit possibly of what we said the first time around. But I'll start by letting Emily introduce herself because she's gonna do a much better job than I ever can. You guys know I say that all the time.
Emily Socha:
Hi, guys. I am Emily Scioscia. I am a confidence creation specialist. So my background is in personal training and coaching, and I work with ambitious females and males to help them really find a life that they're absolutely in love with. And we do that by creating a confident body and a confident mind, and that creates a confident life that you can fall in love with and do all the things that you never thought were possible.
Suzanne Proksa:
Awesome. So, Emily, why don't you tell us then about your, really, the basis of your coaching philosophy?
Emily Socha:
Absolutely. So my, sort of, core idea of how coaching works is that we really can turn our weaknesses into strengths, and confidence comes from the ability to really fall in love with all aspects of ourselves and know that we have pros, we have cons, and everything kinda gets blended all in together. And that true, like, absolutely internal confidence comes from falling in love with all pieces of it. So when we think about building off of our so and so called weaknesses and making them into things that actually are beneficial for us, that is where that's where our true confidence comes from.
Suzanne Proksa:
Awesome. So the first time around, you talked about introverts, that you were actually an introvert, which completely shocked me. And I mentioned that I'm this weird combination of extrovert that turns introvert and I want to go hide in a room by myself in a corner with absolutely no interaction with anybody.
Emily Socha:
Totally.
Suzanne Proksa:
And, we have clients on occasion who will say they're an introvert and ask, you know, am I really going to be able to make it in the online space when, you know, everybody's attracted to the people who are just really out there like I am most of the time. If you ever watch me, I'm Yeah. Yes. So talk to us about that. You know, for the introverts out there, how do they get that confidence so that they can be successful in business too?
Emily Socha:
Totally. I think, honestly, building off the what I was talking about before is turning our weaknesses, you know, and I say that with air quotes, into strength is that the online space gives you the the ability to do that almost a 100% of the time. So, you know, like you were just saying, you have you are mostly feeling like you wanna be out there and excited and, you know, interacting with people. And then at other moments, you know, you need that time to yourself. Well, for other people, for introverts, right, it's usually the opposite. They feel more, like, they wanna be alone, and then they have moments or bursts say of, you know, where they they wanna interact, and they wanna be with people, and they wanna, you know, do all that. And so the online space gives you back that control. Right? When we're interacting with people in our daily lives, maybe in, you know, in person situations, sometimes you don't have that control.
Emily Socha:
But in the online space, you have the ability to designate when you go live, when you have clients, when you, you know, are putting pushing more information, more content out there, and so you can really play to your strengths. When do you feel best? In the morning, in the afternoon, and and feed off of that. And then because you're not forced to, you know, interact 1 on 1, then take your time and, you know, and set sit back and breathe or do what you gotta do, meditate, exercise, you know, whatever, and then you can, you know, refuel to come back into the space.
Suzanne Proksa:
I love that. So, one of the things that you mentioned earlier was the strengths that are related to being introverted.
Emily Socha:
Yes. Can
Suzanne Proksa:
you recap that?
Emily Socha:
Yeah.
Suzanne Proksa:
It's good stuff.
Emily Socha:
Totally. Totally. So I was just sharing a little bit about my own journey of I was very, very shy. I was told that I was a wallflower and that I, you know, had a really like, told that I had a hard time making friends. And so being a young person, I believed that, and then I did have a hard time making friends. And what I found as I traveled throughout my own journey was that characteristics, I'll say, because I'm not even gonna call them strengths or weaknesses. Those characteristics are now my greatest strengths. So the fact that I am very observant, that I am more likely to listen than talk, I am more likely to ask questions instead of just, you know, verbalize what I have to say.
Emily Socha:
That those are what is making me successful now because those are all awesome qualities for a coach to have. And so, you know, just like I've been saying that to kind of build on that idea of to just kind of flip around how you might be perceiving yourself of what about this could I turn on its head? And I feel like it's hindering me, but how could I look at it in a different way that it could actually be the thing that maybe propels me into a more successful space.
Suzanne Proksa:
See, and that's very valuable input, because I think with society the way it is, we just automatically dump that into the weakness space, and we don't think we don't dig deeper. So, like, one of the things I talk about all the time is when you're trying to actually figure out what people what people want, what people need, is diving deeper, taking that next step in, and I think that you could do the same with this, You know, at surface level, it might look like this is a problem, but in reality, if you dig deeper, it's not. There's all kinds of strengths here that you can that you can tap into. Yeah. Totally. Awesome. So one of the things gosh. There's so many things lately that I've seen.
Suzanne Proksa:
There's just a ton of fear out there lately for female entrepreneurs this year, especially for some reason, you know, putting themselves out there. You know? So how do they build the confidence to take that first step? You know, maybe to do that first Facebook live is usually the big one. How do they how do you get get to the point where you can get on a Facebook live without a panic attack
Emily Socha:
or
Suzanne Proksa:
do your first post in a group where you're just terrified of what people are saying or getting crickets.
Emily Socha:
Yep. How do
Suzanne Proksa:
they maybe 3 steps or something to get them there.
Emily Socha:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, honestly, the biggest thing that I tell people all the time, and it's big because I didn't use to believe it. So I was a very go big or go home type of person, black or white. Like, you're either doing this or you're not. And I found that that didn't always I spend more time not doing things because I had that mentality of, like, well, I'm not doing the biggest greatest thing out there, so I just shouldn't be doing anything at all. And it hindered me for a large portion of time.
Emily Socha:
And so now my mantra, as cliche as it might sound, is baby steps. Just so I'll tell you a story. When I first decided that I wanted to start going live and doing, you know, doing more live interaction, I I mean, you know, panic attack. I was like, I didn't even wanna think about it. I had to, you know, completely not even associate. So I started just talking to myself in the mirror. Just being able to watch my face and verbalize out loud, and then I started recording video. So I would record the video, it wasn't live.
Emily Socha:
But I would record it and talk, you know, talk on the phone, and then and then delete it. And then, you know, not think about it. And then slowly but surely, being able to be like, okay. I think I could do this live. So I would say, you know, steps are take everything in bite size pieces and also realize that in a lot of that black and white thinking, I think a lot of us do it whether you're introverted, not introverted, you know, whatnot. It's it's tempting to think like, oh, I'm gonna put this content out there and everyone's gonna see me, you know? And the reality is nobody might see it. You know what I mean? With the way that Facebook algorithms are or, you know, how active you are in the group. I mean, literally, you I've had post go up and not a single like, not a single comment.
Emily Socha:
It probably just got shuffled through to the bottom. And so just realizing that it's all it's all a a journey that doing those little tiny steps in the beginning, I'm just gonna post something. I don't even care whether anyone comments or likes or anything. I'm just gonna put it into the group and just let it happen. And then the next time, okay, now I'm gonna comment, you know, I'm gonna post something and I'm gonna go and comment and interact and, like, make those interactions, you know, come to fruition is is a way to build into that space where it doesn't feel so terrified.
Suzanne Proksa:
Yeah. I like that, the baby steps. That's awesome. Yeah. So, another thing too that I've seen lately, gosh, I've seen so many. Of course, there's the fear of putting offers out there, which is huge. And a big thing and I you talked about, appearance on the previous one.
Emily Socha:
Yeah.
Suzanne Proksa:
Everybody is so terrified of their appearance and such when they get on live. I mean, do you have any thoughts on that to kind of help people, you know, get past that? Because I'm always telling people, and it's true, that people don't really seem to care. I mean, again, 6, 7 figure coach gets on in her bathrobe smoking cigarettes.
Emily Socha:
Right. Right. I will I will repeat a piece of advice that was given to me that, just resonated, and I keep I stick with it, you know, to this day, is that basically you're either always turning people on or you're always turning people off. And you're never ever going to please everybody. It's just not possible. Right? I mean, you think about major brands, Nike, there are people who are will only purchase Adidas. Right? Or whatever other, you know, big things are out there. So it's the ability to turn inward kinda like we were talking about the at the beginning of turn inward and find out what like, who you are at the core of your being and fall in love with those pieces, good, bad, everything in between, and then show up as your most authentic self, right, in a way that feels good for you.
Emily Socha:
So does it feel good to you to, you know, like you said, show up in your bathroom so the ball can take rest? Is that who you are? Is that like, if you were out in public in the real world, you know, is that who you would be and people would be seeing you and you would still be if someone said, what do you do? You would still say, oh, I'm a, you know, content creation specialist. Yeah. Whatever. Well, then that's who you are, and then that's okay. And the people who are attracted to that will be your people, and they will be your people, because they resonate so much with whatever showing up in your bathroom and smoking cigarettes says to them. Right? So that's kind of been my my biggest thing is fall in love with who you are and show up as that person, and your tribe will come to you.
Suzanne Proksa:
Ladies, if you write nothing else down, write that down. It is incredibly important that you go out there as you, and it's funny because I just talked in my life the other day about I'm obsessed with Gary v. And I was listening to one of his books the other day, and he talked about his intro that he absolutely hates for his show. And the reason he hates it is because he's a he was afraid that it would turn people off because he of his swearing and how out there he is and all of that. But he doesn't change it because if he changes it, then it's not him. So listen to what she's saying. You know, if you are a complete dork, be a dork.
Emily Socha:
Yeah. If
Suzanne Proksa:
you're, like, professional, then get on there dressed to the nines and do that. Yeah. I'm ridiculous, and that's what you're gonna get. You know? It's important because, you know, just telling my story real quick. I mean, when I first started as a health coach, I always say I wish I would have saved some of these videos, but I deleted them all because I was so horrified. I was so busy trying to be stodgy and professional that you didn't get any of this.
Emily Socha:
Yes.
Suzanne Proksa:
And it's not attract it does not attract.
Emily Socha:
Yes.
Suzanne Proksa:
It's not magnetizing. Yes. And so yeah. I mean, get that confidence to go out there and just be you.
Emily Socha:
Yeah. I also I mean, I I totally resonate with all of that, and it you know, I think we all go through our own journeys to finally get to that space where you can just be, like, listen. Like, this is who I am. Like, you're not gonna get, you know, whatever you think that you should be doing. But it it also it makes me think of, you know, if you have friends, a bunch of friends say, right, a group of 5 women or men, and you're like, well, I love her because she's so honest. And I love her because she's so funny. Like, all we do is laugh. Right? She doesn't take anything seriously.
Emily Socha:
We just laugh all the time. Think about it in almost the same way of that people are gonna pick up on different aspects of your personality too based on what they see in you. Oh, I love the fact that she's super professional. Like, she always does x, y, and z. And maybe they don't mind, like, yeah, you swear, but they don't mind that because they love the fact that you do this. Just like you love the part of your friend where she's so sarcastic. Like, you know, she's just got a comment for everything. But but there are other pieces of her that you're like, oh, you know, whatever.
Emily Socha:
But we're friends, and that and that's how it works. So I would think into that space that it's very similar is that not everyone is gonna be so madly in love with you, just obsessed that they will find pieces of you that resonate with them, and that is also why they will follow you.
Suzanne Proksa:
That is fantastic advice. And to add to that, not everybody's gonna love you, and that's okay. Yeah. Anybody ever freak out when they got unsubscribes?
Emily Socha:
Yes. I used
Suzanne Proksa:
to. And now now I get an unsubscribe, and I'm like, well Yeah. They
Emily Socha:
didn't It wasn't meant to be.
Suzanne Proksa:
It wasn't. They didn't dig it, just like that horrible boyfriend in high school.
Emily Socha:
Yeah. Totally.
Suzanne Proksa:
You know?
Emily Socha:
It's like Totally. Totally. Totally. Yeah. There's that's like a whole another thing. We the similarities between dating and entrepreneurship are like yeah. That could be a whole episode.
Suzanne Proksa:
Oh, yeah. True story.
Emily Socha:
Yeah.
Suzanne Proksa:
You know, the other thing that comes up all the time and I mentioned it earlier was, you know, one of the reasons that entrepreneurs sometimes fail is not putting their offers out there. They're absolutely terrified. You know, they think nobody's gonna want what they have to offer. And, again, it's a huge confidence issue.
Emily Socha:
Yeah.
Suzanne Proksa:
I mean, do you have any any tidbits for people who deal with that
Emily Socha:
so they can
Suzanne Proksa:
go down in flames?
Emily Socha:
Totally. Totally. And, you know, it's I totally agree. I think it's something that everyone struggles with, unless they were in some sort of space where they were sharing what they had to offer, which would be rare. Right? So I go back to the baby steps thing. You know, I hear a lot of talk in this space of charging what you're worth and making sure that you have premium pricing, and I agree with that. I absolutely think that there is value to what those people have to share. But I also think that it's worth it to build your confidence by charging what you feel really comfortable.
Emily Socha:
If you are so super excited about your offer and the price that you're sharing with that, you're gonna be jazzed, and you're gonna come on or your content is gonna reflect that because you're like, listen, ladies. Like, I am giving you a deal right now. You know? Like, I'm only charging $99, and I could be charging 300 or whatever your numbers might might be. And then as you continue to grow, then that bumps up to, okay. Now I'm charging $500, and that feels really good to me because I know that I'm giving you $3,000 worth of content or coaching or whatever it might be. And I think that that's that's really important to, think about as as we go. And then the other thing is I'm a big fan of flipping things on their head. So I like to look at things from, like, many different angles because we get so, like, focused on just one way.
Emily Socha:
So my next question is always, well, what are you really afraid of? Not putting your out there offer out there because you don't think it's good enough. But what if it is good enough? What if it's amazing and it takes off and, like, thousands of people respond to you, and now you're successful. Now you have 2 right? You don't know who to like, you can't organize your schedule fast enough to be able to, you know, deal with all the, you know, requests coming in. And so I think that that's a really valid thing to just kind of honor within yourself of, like, yeah. Actually, I think I'm more afraid of being successful than I am of no one responding to me and just kinda playing in that space because it it can be really, really helpful to be like, oh, okay. That was really where I was afraid of going. And then, of course, like I said before, playing with your pricing so that you feel super excited to share what you have to offer.
Suzanne Proksa:
That fear of success is huge, and that was one of the things when I became an entrepreneur that I just found so ridiculous, but it was one of my problems Totally. For sure. You know, it's Totally. It's terrifying if you're used to living paycheck to paycheck, eating SpaghettiOs or whatever to think about your bank account going from 0 to 10 k within a few hours. I mean, it's Totally. It it freaks people out.
Emily Socha:
Yeah. And I think also, you know, the same thing is if if you're coming from a space where you're working for someone else, they have determined your value. So they have said, this is what I'm going to pay you. This is what you will get in your paycheck, and it feels very, very different to even be receiving that same amount, but because you asked for it. Because I said, no. No. No. No.
Emily Socha:
This is this is what I charge. Please give it to me. I will give you a service, but please give it to me. And that's like, woah. I you know, that's almost terrifying in its in its own sense. So, you know, I do a lot of just honoring that space, that it is different than someone else saying to you, okay. You're making $50,000 a year, but you making $50,000 a year all on your own feels a lot different.
Suzanne Proksa:
Yeah. Well, and in entrepreneurship too, I mean, a lot of times people are making a lot more money than Totally. What's you know? Yeah. Than they were working for somebody else. So Right.
Emily Socha:
Right.
Suzanne Proksa:
It's a whole different ballgame.
Emily Socha:
Yeah.
Suzanne Proksa:
Wow. I think that there's been a lot of good stuff here today. Did you have anything else that you wanted to share with the audience before we dive into how they can reach
Emily Socha:
you? Just not be afraid to turn inward and to just, like, acknowledge yourself for who you are. That practice in and of itself is so powerful. You know, when I first started, I spent so much time downloading, you know, other things and looking at other people and looking, oh, that coach is doing this and that could and it wasn't until I was like, this is what I wanna do that that I that I really saw a change in, you know, myself and my business and and all that. So I would just say take a moment even if it's right after this live to just kinda be like, who am I and what about me do I love and that I can acknowledge and bring forth?
Suzanne Proksa:
And that does make a huge difference because you probably saw the look on my face. I did the exact same thing. Yeah. Following everybody else trying to duplicate what they were doing.
Emily Socha:
Yes. And
Suzanne Proksa:
then when I finally got to the point where I'm like, screw this. Yeah. You know, I'm innovative. I can do my own thing. It that's when things took off.
Emily Socha:
Totally.
Suzanne Proksa:
So
Emily Socha:
Totally.
Suzanne Proksa:
Well, fabulous. So, Emily, I'm sure there are people out there who have listened or watched and are thinking, how do I get in touch with this girl? Where can they find you? And do you have any freebies or anything that they can
Emily Socha:
Yeah. Do? Yeah. Absolutely. So my website is my name is emilysosha.com. I'm also on Facebook. I'm tagged in a bunch of these posts, so come and find me on Instagram too. Instagram was actually my first love. But my freebie is a guided confidence creation meditation.
Emily Socha:
So it's kind of a shorter version of a lot of what I do with my 1 on 1 clients. And I will tell you that it's awesome. It's something that I do myself as well. And I'll say, you know, I just made a comment about downloading freebies. It is it is not another freebie. It is absolutely giving you the space to just like we've been chatting about today, to find out what like, who you are, what resonates with you, what do you have to offer that makes it so amazing that you can go forth and and put your stuff out there. So like I said, it's about 13 minutes. It's a guided confidence creation meditation.
Suzanne Proksa:
Very nice. So go out and grab that, everybody. Yeah. And just a quick thing, if you guys are watching live, this will get downloaded and then uploaded to the YouTube channel, and it will go to my podcast, which is now on let's see if I can get them all. It's Itunes, Stitcher, Google Play, Spotify, and Iheartmedia. So any of those you can go to and listen to this episode, I would say by tomorrow. Just to make sure I have time to get everything processed. But thank you again so much for being here, Emily.
Emily Socha:
Oh, thank you so much for being here. Emily, thank
Suzanne Proksa:
you so much for being here. It's awesome and definitely great advice that I know a lot of people will find helpful.
Emily Socha:
Thank you. It was so great to be here.
Suzanne Proksa:
Thank you so much. Bye everybody.
Emily Socha:
Bye.
Suzanne Proksa:
I I hope that you loved this episode. If you did, give me those shout outs, show me some love on iTunes, give me a rating and hey, if you wanna know where to find me, you can find me on pretty much all social media at suzannepro k s a. And you can also head over to my website suzanneproksa.com. Until then, we'll see you in the next episode and here is parte music for you.
